The Sentinel Woman

I want to have a real, honest moment with the men who have served—active duty and veterans.

This isn’t about blame. It’s about reflection, accountability, and ultimately, healing.

I know many of you served with integrity and upheld the values you were taught. I also know the system hasn’t always lived up to those same standards—especially when it comes to how women were treated.

So I’m asking for honesty, even if it’s uncomfortable:

• Did you ever witness a woman being dismissed, disrespected, or judged differently because of her gender?
• Did you ever see a woman passed over, even when you knew she was equally—or more—qualified?
• Did you ever hear about or become aware of harassment or assault, and feel unsure what to do?
• Did you ever see senior leaders abuse their authority by engaging in inappropriate or exploitative relationships with junior servicemembers, with no accountability?
• Did you ever stay silent because speaking up felt like it could cost you your career, your reputation, or your place in the unit?
• Did you ever see someone’s misconduct overlooked or excused because of their rank, reputation, or connections—when others would have been held accountable?
• Did you ever know of someone with predatory behavior—harassment, coercion, or assault—who was known, but still allowed to remain in service without meaningful consequences?
• And on the other side—did you lead with integrity? Did you treat every servicemember with respect, regardless of gender?

This is not about labeling people as “good” or “bad.”

It’s about recognizing that culture is shaped by what we allow, what we challenge, and what we choose to ignore.

I’m hearing consistent stories from women veterans—patterns that are too similar to dismiss.

Stories of sexual harassment and assault that were minimized or ignored.
Stories of careers derailed, opportunities withheld, or reputations damaged in retaliation for speaking up.
Stories of women staying silent because they believed nothing would happen—or worse, that they would be labeled as difficult, sensitive, or a problem to manage.

Many worked twice as hard just to be seen as equal. And many are still carrying the weight of those experiences long after their service ended.

But I also believe this:

People grow. People reflect. People can acknowledge what they didn’t understand then—and choose differently now.

If you’ve ever looked back and thought, “I should have said something,” you’re not alone. Many of us—men and women alike—carry moments of moral injury from times we stayed silent, didn’t know what to do, or felt unable to act. What matters is what we do with that awareness today.

This conversation is about accountability, yes—but also about respect, growth, and making sure the next generation serves in a better culture than the one we inherited.

What kind of workforce do we want our daughters to enter—and what are we willing to do to ensure it is better than the one many women experienced before them?